Black and White

"Life is like a piano. The white keys represent happiness and the black show sadness. But as you go through life's journey, remember that the black keys also make music." -Unknown

Over the past five months I have accepted that life is not black and white. I have learned that there can be so much beauty in the gray areas. To be honest, I don't like "maybes", "if thens", or "either ors." I get so frustrated when faced with "sometimes this" and "sometimes that." Lately I have shed many tears over the "I don't knows." To many (myself included) black and white means that there is just one rule. There is a schedule with an exact time, and it's always the same. The rules apply to everyone and there are no exceptions. Black and white means things are predictable. Black and white means things seem fair and are clear. 

Nothing has felt fair or clear to me lately. My breast cancer diagnosis, the trials in my life and a fight for love that will end with a win that will reveal itself in a completely different way than I anticipated. But one thing has remained true, God's love. I can't even explain it properly, the outpouring of unconditional love that I am feeling for the first time in my life. From family, friends, complete strangers and from people I never imagined would care about me, or take time to join my fight.

Gray areas mean that the rule is sometimes one thing, and sometimes another thing. I am alright with that now. Again, I can't explain it...but it's true to me now. I know that this is happening to me for a reason. I am learning lessons that will make me a complete bad ass...whoops, sorry mom! But I want you all to know, anyone that is reading this—whatever it is that you are facing, embrace it. Look for the good in each day and you will find it, I promise. Go gray.

Notes to Self

Note to self: The next time I wear this skirt, photos should be taken before I have sat in it all day. Pardon my wrinkles.

Note to self: I can't always please everyone, nor should I expect to always be pleased by others.
People disappoint us, people talk. It hurts. Love them anyway. 

Note to self: Don't expect from others what they are not capable of giving.
People disappoint, people ignore. It hurts. Pursue them anyway.

Note to self: My security is in Christ.
He always loves, always protects, always provides.

I needed a few reminders today as you can tell. My hope is they come in handy for you as well. XO

Day 12-A Treat

The Dress, Necklace: Loft, Shoes: Nine West, Belt: Nameless, Bag: Thrifted 

My friend Camille and I are going to attempt the DIY version of this necklace!
I'll let you know how that turns out ;)

My precious K! 

Early this morning my five year old daughter, with a broken toe, crawled into my bed. She whispers to me, "Mommy, is it time for muffins with moms yet?" I think it was 4:30 or so. She was so excited. She got dressed, accessorized (as you can see above) and was ready to go hours before it was time. I sat next to her in the lunchroom watching her enjoy that chocolate-chocolate chip muffin with pure bliss in her eyes. What a treat!

I felt so loved. She wanted nothing more than to be right there with me, eating muffins. These little things I don't ever want to take for granted, they are the moments when I realize that all of the stresses of parenting are TOTALLY worth it! 

This little girl has been such a blessing to me, to our family. We had three miscarriages before she arrived.....and if you have been through that, you know the pain. God has protected her through many accidents and injuries. Even when I thought I may loose my mind with worry, He has been there and He has been faithful. We prayed for her, and He gave her to us. Not in our timing, but in His. I am so thankful for that! 

Oh, and I gave myself another treat this morning. In effort to scale back, I decided to give up my routine luxury of a pedicure and give myself one instead! $30.00 saved! :) 

Day Five, Unsubscribe!

The Dress, Top: matty m., Shoes: Kenneth Cole

You have to see the detail! One of my most favorite tops!

My inbox is out of control!  Only after committing to a year of no shopping, I am finally noticing how overloaded I am with emails from retailers boasting extra 40% off!! UNSUBSCRIBE please!

I am actually impressed with myself. The calls to shop are not bothering me nearly as much as my overloaded inbox. Right now I can't think of anything I need, or want for that matter. Now that doesn't mean that I won't be browsing Pinterest and my new obsession, Pose for ideas. Loving fashion doesn't mean that I have to buy things. It just means that I can be more creative with what I already have!

Lastly, I want to share a video that goes along with my post from Day 2! Exactly what I was trying to say about loving like Jesus!

Day Two, One Mango Tree

The Dress, Vest: One Mango Tree, Necklace: Stella & Dot
Shoes: My friend Courtney's Closet, (She gets the photo credit too)

The tag from my vest in support of the 12 X 12 Project! 

Relieved to report that today was much better than yesterday. I woke up at 4am restless, but my husband got up with me to talk. Sometimes we need that in the middle of the night, or first thing in the morning. We talked about the kids, struggles we are facing with our teenager, goals, and we prayed together. It was refreshing. Then, MOPs was so amazing. Our speaker was one of my dear friends. Let me just tell you, this woman has a heart for Jesus and for people. She's energetic, loving, helpful, and her actions speak so much louder than her words!

It is wonderful to quote scripture, or tell others about what we read in the bible, but it is so much more impacting to actually live it. I think many people get turned off by Christianity because they hear so much, but see so little.

Are we talking about the bible and repeating scripture, but not showing grace? Are we forwarding out our daily devotion, but judging others and not holding the hands of hurting friends? Are we passing out "I'm praying for yous" but not stopping long enough to pray? Are we praising Jesus but not loving people????

I am no where near an expert on all of this, these words are just coming from my heart. Along with loving people, I believe there is power in admitting our faults, our struggles, and yes....our sin. I believe that we don't have to be experts. All we have to do is be real and seek Him, and he will provide the opportunities for us to serve others. So no crazy Christian here...just a girl in a dress on her way to a great place....and today was a good day!

8 Years Worth Fighting For

His traditional gift to me, the vase (pottery) with 8 roses, one for each year.

This dress by Milly was hanging in my closet ready to wear when I got out of the shower!
I posted the link on Facebook a while back and he remembered!

My traditional gift to him: Wine glasses with a pottery base!

Wheww! It has been an uphill battle for us! I won't sugarcoat it! We have been through some tough times, but through it all, we have fought and God has given us the strenth to survive 8 years! Honestly, I am thankful even for the hard times, as I know they were teaching me. But I would REALLY like some smooth sailing for a while! :) Love is always worth it! Always!

Mother's Day Weekend!

I love these people! My mother, the ones that made me a mother, my family! I hope you all had a Mother's Day that was as blessed as mine! :)

14/30-I Heart Valentines Day!

Just a few of my favorite things! But most favorite of all was my day! My husband planned the whole surprise! He took the day off, we dropped the kids at school and then the took me for coffee! We had couples massages, then lunch. After lunch we had mani/pedis. I got bold and went RED with the new gel polish that won't chip! :) I haven't had red nails since pre-kiddos! They always chip so I pass! Tonight the family came over for a steak dinner and yummy desserts! As for the outfit, I wore this before, but I threw on the scarf and belt to remix! Scarf: Loft, Belt: J. Crew. I hope you all had a beautiful day with the ones that you love! Now...on to the main attraction! ;)