Thankful

I believe this 100%. During this time in our lives when we can't see the future, my eyes have been opened further to all of the things I have to be thankful for. The struggles in our marriage, my shopping fast and budget cuts, and my husband's current unemployment all have changed my perspective.

Yesterday was rough. My oldest had his wisdom teeth removed and it did not go very well. After feeling rushed out of the recovery room, he got very sick. I pulled into Smoothie King, which my friend owns. Luckily another friend of mine was walking out of the door, and I frantically called to him for help. They handed us towels, supplies, and even a smoothie to get something on his stomach. I couldn't be more thankful for that, those helping hands. As I mentioned in a previous post, we don't have my husband's company car any longer...so I was driving my son's car at the time. Do you think a teenage boy keeps napkins or anything in his car? Of coarse not. So we got cleaned up and went on our way.

Arriving home I had a mess to clean up in the car, and a very sick boy on my hands. A friend sent me a text and told me she was bringing dinner. I cried. I felt so loved, and so comforted just by that gesture alone. Jesus was showing himself to me through my friends yesterday, and I was overwhelmed.

Even with all of the crazy, scary, not so fun things happening in my life right now, I felt at peace. I go back to some of my posts complaining about letting things go, not shopping, blah, blah.....and I finally realize why I am on this journey. God is shaping me for something better. He wants me to know love like I have never known, and to trust him like I never have before. I could not feel more blessed.

1000 Gifts Continued:
174. The smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen
175. Helping hands
176. Hot meals from sweet friends
177. Days spent at home
178. Caring for sick children
179. Indescribable peace
180. Love amplified

Day Four, SCORE!!!

The Dress, Belt: Target, Earrings: m. marie boutique, Shoes: Steve Madden
Photo Credit: Angela Lovering

I NEVER have anyone to take my picture! How cool is it that this first week of the October Dress Project, I haven't had to set my tripod up ONCE! The best part...I have seen three of my very best friends this week and they have each graciously offered to play photographer for me! SCORE! Bonus, today I was given a gift by one of them!!! My childhood BFF, found a cocktail dress and thought it looked like me. I can't wait to try it on, it is lovely! Through all of our trials, annoyances with each other, busy schedules, and growing pains...we have remained friends. I can not express to you what that means to me. She is the girl that I can call in the middle of the night and will be at my house in 5 minutes, even if she hasn't heard from me in weeks. She has watched me make mistakes, loved me through them, and cheered me on in my triumphs. I thank God for you Angela, for all of our old memories....and for the ones we have yet to make! This one's for you!

Day Three, Let's Celebrate!

The Dress, Scarf: Target, Shoes: Steve Madden, Bag: Elliott Lucca
Photo credit: Andrea Reed

The birthday girl! 

Three cheers for early release day! 

The morning started with breakfast/brunch with one of my most cherished friends. She also happens to be an amazing cake designer, you have to visit her site, I am so proud of her!! Work was slow, but fine...and then I got to spend the afternoon with some cool kids (pictured above) so fun! Three cheers for early release day!

October Dress Project Day #1

The Dress: Loft, (clearance..whoop) This is the only shot we had time for...drama explained below.

Photo shoot gone bad: K being every so cautiously carried up the stairs by firemen.

K, J and I hanging with Robert the RN, our new BFF! 

Robert explaining to K that there is just NO way to make the post-op shoe look cute.
As you can see, she is trying hard to understand.

Day #1 started out well. I am reading a new book, and committed to my devotional time in the morning. I was feeling good. I got all four of my children off to school and headed to the lake to walk. While doing so, I dropped my car key & remote out of my spy belt. I turned around to walk the lake again, as I had no idea exactly where it may have fallen out. I still ended up with no keys, and walking a total of 7.25 miles. Mom and Dad to the rescue and I was on my way to work.

Well played satan, but you're not getting me down...as a matter of fact, I am thankful for the extra calories burned, allowing me to eat this piece of carrot cake right now at 10pm. 

I adjusted my attitude and went to work, I actually checked quite a few things off of my to do list! After arriving home, I received an email from my 17 y/o's Algebra teacher telling me he is failing. I begin the questioning, and he begins the despising of me. I now TRULY understand and feel sorry for my parents....I don't know how they handled my teen years. 

Well played satan, but just when I thought I would loose it with one more disruption, my 3 and 5 year old rested on the couch quietly for 2 hours so that I could catch my breath. I didn't even have to ask them!

We decided to have another group photo shoot this year, and my sweet and amazingly talented friend Rachel Absher, agreed to do the honors. Everything was going perfectly well until we decided it would be fun to get in the water! Poor K sliced her foot open on something while getting out. Off to the Fire Station I went, right across the lake. As you can see they treated her well, and we ended up at Fast Track at the ER. She is going to be fine...one stitch, a not so cute post-op shoe, and some meds. 

Well played satan, but I had an amazing time laughing through a scary experience with two dear friends in an emergency room, AND there was a piece of homemade carrot cake waiting on me when I got home. 

So all in all, I am still blessed. A bit worn out, but blessed indeed. Tomorrow is a new day...in the same dress!

Running for Missy!

Yesterday, I experienced the reality of breast cancer like never before. My friend Missy had a double mastectomy. Several weeks ago she was diagnosed after a routine mammogram. I have ran for breast cancer before, worn pink during October, and prayed for people affected....but never did it hit home like it did yesterday. As I looked into the eyes of her husband and daughter patiently awaiting a call from the operating room, I felt the depth of this awful disease. I am so happy to report that her surgery went very well and they found NO cancer in her lymph nodes, she will not need chemo!!! To GOD be the glory! Our team (Missy's B's) are running for her on Saturday, and never will a race have ever mean so much to me! I am so proud of her strength and courage!

Emotion

This morning I have no picture for you, only words. This week I received a call telling me that my childhood best friend's father had passed away from pancreatic cancer. Tears filled my eyes and I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I haven't seen or spoken to my best friend, "M" in about 13 years. I did something to hurt her, out of pure selfishness and acting out in my younger years. I know she has forgiven me, but she chose not to have a relationship with me, and honestly-I don't blame her.

Last night I walked in to the visitation and saw her family, whom I have only seen on a few occaisions since 1998. This was my second family from the time I was 5 years old until high school graduation. Every holiday, every sleep over, every dance recital, every football game. I thought I may hyperventilate. When it was my turn to hug everyone it was like this huge emotional release, and then I turned to M, not knowing if she even wanted me there. The first thing she did was reach out to hug me. I know it may not have meant much to her, sharing that hug...but for me, it was healing that I needed so badly. When I left I sobbed, and I mean sobbed all the way home, remembering our friendship and seeing her father there.

Even though I can't re-write the past, I have learned from my mistakes and God has allowed me to feel the same pain that I caused her, to help me grow, and to teach me that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and I know better than anyone that hurt people, hurt people. I write all of this because I am not perfect, and I am very ashamed of mistakes from my past....but I am proud of how far God has brought me.