Showing posts with label emotional healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotional healing. Show all posts
Thursday, November 03, 2011
....and the Things of Earth Will Grow Strangely Dim.
While running this morning, this song came on Pandora. It spoke to me. You see...I let things bother me way too much. I tend to blame the people in my life that have hurt me, but when I dissect it further-I see that it is my issue. I have control over my thoughts and I can choose to stop dwelling on how my feelings have been hurt, or what people have done to offend me. I can choose to turn my eyes upon Jesus and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. It works!!! I promise!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Emotion
This morning I have no picture for you, only words. This week I received a call telling me that my childhood best friend's father had passed away from pancreatic cancer. Tears filled my eyes and I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I haven't seen or spoken to my best friend, "M" in about 13 years. I did something to hurt her, out of pure selfishness and acting out in my younger years. I know she has forgiven me, but she chose not to have a relationship with me, and honestly-I don't blame her.
Last night I walked in to the visitation and saw her family, whom I have only seen on a few occaisions since 1998. This was my second family from the time I was 5 years old until high school graduation. Every holiday, every sleep over, every dance recital, every football game. I thought I may hyperventilate. When it was my turn to hug everyone it was like this huge emotional release, and then I turned to M, not knowing if she even wanted me there. The first thing she did was reach out to hug me. I know it may not have meant much to her, sharing that hug...but for me, it was healing that I needed so badly. When I left I sobbed, and I mean sobbed all the way home, remembering our friendship and seeing her father there.
Even though I can't re-write the past, I have learned from my mistakes and God has allowed me to feel the same pain that I caused her, to help me grow, and to teach me that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and I know better than anyone that hurt people, hurt people. I write all of this because I am not perfect, and I am very ashamed of mistakes from my past....but I am proud of how far God has brought me.
Last night I walked in to the visitation and saw her family, whom I have only seen on a few occaisions since 1998. This was my second family from the time I was 5 years old until high school graduation. Every holiday, every sleep over, every dance recital, every football game. I thought I may hyperventilate. When it was my turn to hug everyone it was like this huge emotional release, and then I turned to M, not knowing if she even wanted me there. The first thing she did was reach out to hug me. I know it may not have meant much to her, sharing that hug...but for me, it was healing that I needed so badly. When I left I sobbed, and I mean sobbed all the way home, remembering our friendship and seeing her father there.
Even though I can't re-write the past, I have learned from my mistakes and God has allowed me to feel the same pain that I caused her, to help me grow, and to teach me that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and I know better than anyone that hurt people, hurt people. I write all of this because I am not perfect, and I am very ashamed of mistakes from my past....but I am proud of how far God has brought me.
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