Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Deal With It!

I'm getting deep on you today, sorry. I have a hurt from a past betrayal. I am sure many have been there and I won't get into specifics for now. Some time has passed but it still creeps up on me. When someone asks me "well, have you dealt with it?", I think to myself what does it mean to "deal" with something. Honestly, I don't know. I don't think "dealing" with something means that you are healed. See to me it isn't "dealing" with it, it's making a choice. A daily choice to accept what happened to me, and move on. But that healing could take a long time. Especially if it is a deep betrayal. I don't know why but this morning while running, I was pounding the pavement thinking about the betrayal that I went through. It felt so good just to be mad. Sometimes I really want the offenders to hurt, and then I ask myself, what would Jesus think about that? I am sure that would break his heart. Sometimes I question how we are supposed to accept things because we know that is what He would want us to do. I guess that is why we have to ask him for strength daily. Anyway, the next time someone asks me if I have "dealt" with answer will be no...but I made a choice, and I have to pray and remind myself of that each day to keep myself going!

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